Sick... Of the sick role

Really hate this, the weak feeling with the desire to really do..... nothing but lie down

Glad this will be ending soon. All the worries for nothing with a negative for all results. Not even a raised total white or a differential shift in WBC to tell me what kind of an infection it was...

Anyway, found that my body only took a minor damage in this course of illness. So many more people are affected. Parents having to worry, whole family cannot enjoy a good dinner before my brother flies off, can't send my brother off, then whole family including dear Rei has to feed on fish porridge with me for a sunday dinner.. (how nice..) and all because of a rather atypical and prolonged illness.

And Dr Lim got to lose money by charging me peanuts for all the blood tests, consultation and medicine. (got to get him something..)

And i cannot do exercise though soccer final is nearing, cannot study properly, cannot do some housework (got to catch up this weekend), cannot attend outings, important birthday dinners etc

Hmm.. the sick role.. Can i decide not to adopt it by sheer mental determination? Looking back i think i had no choice.. or is it that my mind is weak?