Time and Passion
"Everyone has the same 24hrs in a day"
But why is it even when i'm off computer games, i still cannot achieve what many others can? We have the same number of write-ups, go home the same time but yet i only manage to settle write ups but cannot cover 1 topic in Kumar and Clarke or 1 chapter of Talley's while the other group mates can rattle stuff off the books like nothing...
It must be the efficiency or the decisiveness of mine during write ups that causes all the delay.. where to look up, what more to look up, what to put down in the write-up, what not to put down.. Think there should be less time spent on deciding all these or maybe more concentration needed so i will know which is really the more important quotes to quote.. than i can settle write ups faster..
Weiqiang had asked me during the week:"I wonder if i can get the same passion like Dr Melvin Leow.." Passion so great he presented cases to himself during MRT rides.. passion so great he reads studies after studies and remembers who wrote them and what their conclusions were, passion so great he would welcome any medical students who approach him with questions/request for tutorials. Passion so great i know if i have it, i would be looking forward to time in the wards or time of studying as if they were wushu/soccer sessions.. Had passion and enthusiasm in year 1... wonder where they've gone.. not for good i hope..
Time to reignite it.. somehow.. soon..
Saw a patient on friday who had NPC and later on developed some complications from radiotherapy, and even later on.. a stroke. Throughout the whole history taking, he reminded us that chinese med and acupuncture were not to be looked down upon. His belief in chinese med was strong, apparently because western med had somehow failed him.. He went on to lament that he didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't turn to vice.. Was kind to others but still this had to befall him.. One can sense his bitterness.. but he was still kind enough to talk to us, let us examine one by one and even wished us well at the end of the session..
i'm always very uncomfortable when patients ask why they get diseases.. easy to tell a alcoholic with alcoholic liver.. "because you drank.." to tell a smoker with COPD "because you smoked".. This patient? "sorry, cause you're from southern china and this led to one thing after another"?
i just couldn't find the perfect sentence to tell him and make him feel better.. i could only pat his hand and hope that he found it reassuring..
my mind wondered quickly at that moment to the word "karma". seems to explain all these easily. i remembered the scene in andy lau's show "running on karma" ceceilia cheung was asking the question everyone would be asking:"Is it because of what I did in MY last life that i have to pay in this life?" To which Andy Lau replied strangely:"No, it's because what someone did had to be repaid by another." i was baffled at first but understood it towards the end of the show.. the person in the last life wasn't the person in present.. definitely different characters.. but still the acts were done and had to be repaid..
Again i stress "karma" is an easy way to explain everything.. if an explanation is needed for everything... itseems cruel, unproven, but if it's true.. at least we know, the next life of the patient will be a good one.
But why is it even when i'm off computer games, i still cannot achieve what many others can? We have the same number of write-ups, go home the same time but yet i only manage to settle write ups but cannot cover 1 topic in Kumar and Clarke or 1 chapter of Talley's while the other group mates can rattle stuff off the books like nothing...
It must be the efficiency or the decisiveness of mine during write ups that causes all the delay.. where to look up, what more to look up, what to put down in the write-up, what not to put down.. Think there should be less time spent on deciding all these or maybe more concentration needed so i will know which is really the more important quotes to quote.. than i can settle write ups faster..
Weiqiang had asked me during the week:"I wonder if i can get the same passion like Dr Melvin Leow.." Passion so great he presented cases to himself during MRT rides.. passion so great he reads studies after studies and remembers who wrote them and what their conclusions were, passion so great he would welcome any medical students who approach him with questions/request for tutorials. Passion so great i know if i have it, i would be looking forward to time in the wards or time of studying as if they were wushu/soccer sessions.. Had passion and enthusiasm in year 1... wonder where they've gone.. not for good i hope..
Time to reignite it.. somehow.. soon..
Saw a patient on friday who had NPC and later on developed some complications from radiotherapy, and even later on.. a stroke. Throughout the whole history taking, he reminded us that chinese med and acupuncture were not to be looked down upon. His belief in chinese med was strong, apparently because western med had somehow failed him.. He went on to lament that he didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't turn to vice.. Was kind to others but still this had to befall him.. One can sense his bitterness.. but he was still kind enough to talk to us, let us examine one by one and even wished us well at the end of the session..
i'm always very uncomfortable when patients ask why they get diseases.. easy to tell a alcoholic with alcoholic liver.. "because you drank.." to tell a smoker with COPD "because you smoked".. This patient? "sorry, cause you're from southern china and this led to one thing after another"?
i just couldn't find the perfect sentence to tell him and make him feel better.. i could only pat his hand and hope that he found it reassuring..
my mind wondered quickly at that moment to the word "karma". seems to explain all these easily. i remembered the scene in andy lau's show "running on karma" ceceilia cheung was asking the question everyone would be asking:"Is it because of what I did in MY last life that i have to pay in this life?" To which Andy Lau replied strangely:"No, it's because what someone did had to be repaid by another." i was baffled at first but understood it towards the end of the show.. the person in the last life wasn't the person in present.. definitely different characters.. but still the acts were done and had to be repaid..
Again i stress "karma" is an easy way to explain everything.. if an explanation is needed for everything... itseems cruel, unproven, but if it's true.. at least we know, the next life of the patient will be a good one.
posted by KwangHow at
11:04 PM
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