How, How?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Where to?

Just went for an ethics course over the weekend and they were asking us to fill up a survey form when i was once again stumped by the almighty question:"Given a choice, would you still choose medicine as a career?"

I took like 5 mins to think through but circled 'yes' in the end and that's because i was pressed for time. Actually i still don't know my true answer.

My past 2 years in hospital was kind of fun but demanding. Demanding because i was going here and there every 3 months, so for both admin and knowledge purposes, there's always a need to adapt and learn. It was fun as i did not feel any great stress to do well/impress at those postings since i was a 'by-passer' anyway. I was so looking forward to end up at the polyclinic ultimately during those 2 years.

So here i am, having spent 2 months + at OPS and guess what? Disgruntled sentiments settled in still. Many of us feel like it's a production line while seeing acute cases: at least 60 patients on a good day and up to 100 on a real bad day. You're basically aiming to clear the crowd while reducing the probability of yourself missing something and stepping on a land mine. Despite how some guidelines say subsidised government services are meant for those who really cannot afford private healthcare, we still see demanding, well to do patients who choose to come to the OPS, pay subsidised rates but yet want to see 'world class healthcare'. I'm sure every patient should deserve the best the doctor could give during the consult, but why expect a short waiting time or 'good medicine that private GPs always give' when they choose to crowd with others at OPS?? And when clinics close queue earlier as doctors cannot cope with the load? Complaints flood to forums when the whole idea of closing queue early and reducing patient load is to ensure patient's safety..

I've been to several inter clinic training sessions and could feel the angst among my colleagues, we can only hope the steps to bring the clinics to a fully appt based system will work out in the end..

I'm wondering if I'm a fickle person. Initially wanted to work in ED then found shift work too disruptive and ED work somewhat too stressful, went to ortho, found that i can't operate confidently, to OPS and feel that 80-90% of the time, i'm dishing out MCs/referring patients.
Did i choose OPS as it is something i could go on long term with less stress each day?
I'm still getting pre shift blues before ED shifts but the cases i've seen in ED really made me feel that my time spent there as a doctor is much more worthwhile..

I'm really fickle i guess.
Hmm, what if i spend my days just poring through financial reports and click the mouse button to invest??

3 Comments:

  • When I first started teaching, I felt that I was just a production line worker, not doing service to my pupils. At times, discontentment sets in as peers with the same qualification seems to have an easier life. Why am I subjecting myself to seemingly torturous hours with no hope of time to myself. Sometimes even till now, low self esteem sets in. However, I was lucky to have colleagues to remind me that teaching comes with experience (and as years passed, I realised that it also comes with great determination and perseverance). I was also lucky enough to be given a chance to do volunteering in teaching moral values to kids (even though I am seriously lacking in them). I'm not sure whether what I do have benefitted the kids, but I really feel that I have learnt alot of teaching these kids and even from complaining parents.

    I still remember nth years ago, you mentioned that you hope to go to a third world country to provide medical service.I hope you will find a way to get around the difficulties that you are facing now and become the great doctor that I believe you will become.

    Best Wishes

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